Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So vagazzling was a success
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
