i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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