Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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