I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
