i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
