Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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