one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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