Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
