i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
