Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
