You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
