what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
