You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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