Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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