Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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