party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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