I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
