Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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