garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I want her autograph on my taint
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
