omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
