I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the day after is always just damage control
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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