At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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