Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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