i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
