I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
