Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
