It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
