maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize