What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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