last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
