I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
