Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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