I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
