im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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