i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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