id be glad to
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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