i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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