she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
