she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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