So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Fuck appropriateness.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize