so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
