so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
