You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
