you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
