She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Randomize
