I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
