somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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