We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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