meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
