the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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