You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
