Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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