it's not cheating when I paid for it
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
