grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
