Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
