Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
