The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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