I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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