he wants to bone in the snuggie
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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